Something happened today that kinda depressed me. I know, I know.. like I needed some type of stimulus to depress me. =/

For the last couple years, I’ve retreated from physical contact with others. A customer would touch my arm or hand while I tried to help them, and I’d run for the hand sanitizer. It’s classic OCD behavior. Washing over and over, turning the right way, “unwinding” when I turned around, checking and rechecking locks, etc.

One of my co-workers rubbed my back today. I know he kinda meant it to creep me out, but it felt nice… REALLY nice. Not sexual… but it was almost like a drop of rain on parched soil. I just soaked it up. I couldn’t really tell him how good it felt.. but .. it meant so much.

Then I started just kinda poking Amy in her side. Felt good, very good.

Have I become so isolated, so insulated from everyone else that a simple touch from another person can make me feel so energized that I feel like I’m about to b apart into a thousand tiny pieces?

It’s nice that I can still feel, but depressing that something so simple can affect me so much. =/