I can’t help it. Every time I see Ashley at work my heart skips a beat.

It’s weird, I’m not in love with her anymore. I don’t really even like her all that much anymore. She’s totally fucked me over.

And yet, every time I see her talking to a customer, giving a hug to a coworker, hell.. just even passing by, my breath catches and my heart drops a bit.

I don’t understand why my body does this to me. =/

I know that if she offered to get back together with me, I would turn her down. I’ve seen too much ugliness to ever consider that.

Friends? I’m not sure about that. After what she’s done, I can’t just act like it didn’t happen. I think that she will have to earn my trust back. I’m positive that she won’t be willing to work to gain my trust. She’s too selfish for that, and too proud.

Sometimes I wish I could just ice my heart. It would be easier, especially at work. =/

Now playing: www.forthehorderadio.comFor The Horde Radio – Episode Forty Eight – Useless Holidays and TLR. What Could Be Better?