(Note: I’m releasing this letter “to the universe”. I doubt she even knows of this blog.)

Ashley,

I’m writing this because you refuse to discuss things like a reasonable person. I’ve tried talking to you, you’ve yelled and punched walls. I’ve tried time and time again to help you. You’ve decided you don’t want my help. From this point forward, you shall not have it.

I’ve felt so guilty at work. I’ve avoided you. I’ve looked away from you. I’ve tried to busy myself while you flirt with everything that has a penis.

No more.

I’m tired of walking on eggshells around you. I’m the wronged party in this whole affair.

I have no idea why you’ve chosen this path. I don’t understand how you can slap away simple friendship. You’ve accused me of “acting like a high schooler”. Yet, why am I the only one talking?

You aren’t worth my affection, and you aren’t worthy of my love.

I did love you. Fully and wholeheartedly, I loved you. You had my devotion, my respect, and my trust. How did you respond to this? You not only kicked me out of your bed, but invited another into it before my ass hit the floor.

You decided to end our relationship over the most trivial of reasons. I didn’t talk to your for 4 days. I try to reconcile, you bite my head off. I give you space, you kiss another man. I try to talk to you, you suck his dick.

You are the lowest form of trash I’ve ever known. You critique your sister because she sleeps around, but at least she’s honest when she spreads her legs. Both she and her current lover know it means nothing to each other.

You, instead, lead me on. You played the hurt, vulnerable girl to perfection. I helped you in any way I could. I comforted you, loved you, worshipped you. You ate it all up.

Then, over the slightest reason, you threw me away. But, no… dumping me would be too clean. You decided to kiss Ken while we were still a couple.

I wonder, would you have ever told me about it? Would you have let me continue chasing you around, trying to make a relationship work that you decided to not even try to salvage?

Part of me wants to curse you up one side and down the other. It wants to hurt you, give you the same pain you’ve given me. It wants to place you in the same black pit that you consigned me to.

It would be easy, so very easy.

But, unlike you, I’ll decide to not “act like a high schooler”. You won’t have my anger. You won’t have my guilt. You won’t have my heart, and you’ve lost all the respect I once held for you.

You do, however, have my pity. You’ve thrown away one of the greatest men you will ever meet. I did everything for you. I subjugated my desires for yours. I put you on a pedestal. If there was anything in my power to do or give you, I did it.

This is who you’ve thrown away.

I deserve better than you, and by god, I will have it!

You are no longer worthy of my attention. You are my co-worker, nothing else. If you choose not to communicate with me at work, the fault is yours. If it impacts your work, I will make sure that those in positions of leadership are made aware and you are held accountable for it.

You are nothing to me now. I will think of you as dead until the universe makes you so, and then I will think of you no more.

-Stephen

Now playing: Rush LimbaughWed, October 6th, 2010 Hour 1