I’ve recently been having very dark thoughts. This is especially strange, as I really haven’t been feeling all that depressed.

I was driving in the car on Monday, on my way to work when I started planning out my suicide.

It was very vivid –  place, when, how… I pictured my brains splattered on the tile, slowly oozing down the wall. The sound of the gunshot reverberating through the store, seeing the blood drain from Mark’s face.. the frantic calls to corporate & district….

As I said, very vivid.

Anyway, this journal should help me sort through my feelings.. that’s the idea at least.

-S